I know I sure haven't updated much since Baby Girl has been born! Let's just say having a baby is life changing. To put it mildly. As if you didn't know that already.
I have several ideas for new posts rolling around in my head, but I figured I'd start with a great topic...Baby Girl's name! Beware of the following post as it is long!
Daniel and I chose Baby Girl's name when we were engaged. If you know me at all, you know that I've been somewhat obsessed with the topic of babies. I've been naming my future kids since I can remember. One of my earliest memories of name ideas was I planned to name the twins I just knew I would have one day, Shelby and Kelby. I can even remember where I was when I came up with that fabulous combo. ...let's just say I'm glad I didn't have twins then. I don't mind the name Shelby...but Kelby?! Is that even a name? And the two names together? Yikes. Also, after having one baby...the thought of twins is enough to send me running to the hills never to return. I ADORE Baby Girl and I LOVE having a baby...but I can't imagine the work of TWO babies.
Anyway, because of my obsession, you can imagine that the topic of what we might name our future children came up between Daniel and me, well...often. Poor guy.
Daniel probably doesn't, but I remember exactly where and what we were doing when we came up with the first and middle names of our future little girl.
Daniel's older sister passed away 10 years ago from a cancerous brain tumor. Daniel and I have been together for 8 years so I missed the opportunity of meeting her by 2 years. She was a woman of God whose life made a difference. She committed her last years on earth to living for the Lord. Through her example, several lives were saved.
If we ever had a little girl, we decided that her first name would be, Erin, in honor and memory of her aunt. We hope and pray that our Erin will choose to live her life for her Savior, just as her Aunt Erin did.
Once we decided this, you can bet I immediately began thinking of middle names. :) During our engagement, Daniel's cousin had a baby and we fell in love with her middle name and the meaning behind it. If you've ever read the book of Job, you know that he had quite a journey. Job was a man of integrity, who loved God. Satan believed that if Job lost all he had been blessed with, he would turn his back on God. God allowed Satan to attack all that Job had and guess what? Job proved Satan wrong. His faith stood firm and he continued to love and praise God. Once all the trials were over, God re-established all that Job had and beyond. He was blessed with children, three of them girls who were known to be the most beautiful of the land. One of the daughters was named Keren-Happuch.
We chose the first part of this name, Keren, to be our baby girl's middle name.
Let me clarify, Keren is pronounced kuh-Rin...not like the popular name Karen which would rhyme with Erin...which I would never do to my child!
Little did we know the name Keren would have even more meaning to us once it came time to use it! If you've followed my blog, you know that we didn't get pregnant when WE decided it was time. I, especially, went through a period where I had to choose what I wanted in life...God or motherhood. Was living for the Lord more important to me, or was being a mother more important to me?
Now, some of you might say, well why not both?...live for God and seek out being a mother. However, if I'm living for the Lord, that means I have to trust Him and HIS plan for my life...not my own plan.
Ultimately I was created to serve the Lord...that's why we're all created, whether we choose to or not. So who am I to tell God what kind of life I am supposed to have? I wanted to get pregnant so desperately that it was becoming more important to me than the life God was laying out for me...which at the time was obviously not a pregnancy or it would have happened!
I knew I was being faced with the question, God or mommy? The days I battled this question were the toughest days of my life by far...but they were also some of the greatest days of my life. Giving God the thing I wanted MOST in life...but realizing what I wanted MOST in life was Him. Just Him.
If I had to choose, I couldn't imagine choosing something other than God and my relationship with Him. When I finally surrendered to Him, the peace and joy that followed was amazing...something that can only come from a relationship with Him. I can honestly say that from that day forward, I no longer struggled with the desire to get pregnant. I was 100% O.K. with the fact that I would probably never be pregnant. I trusted God and the life He created for me to live. I wanted that life more than I wanted to be pregnant. My life was changed.
This journey, to me, was similar to Job's journey. In the end, He
remained true to his God...choosing Him above anything else...no matter
the trial. And God never let go of Job. No strings attached, giving God what I thought I wanted most in life, He caused me to realize that I wanted Him more. My joy was restored and my life was filled with peace. I was excited to see what God had in store for my life, for my husband's life, for our marriage. Over the next year and a half, I grew more in my relationship with God than I had in years.
...and then, Erin Keren was conceived.
Never would I have imagined...I didn't think I would ever be pregnant. I could not fathom the thought that God lovingly took what I gave Him through many tears, only to return it more beautifully than it ever would have been had it happened when I wanted it to happen. What a mighty God I serve. To Him belongs all the glory.
So, I am beyond ecstatic to introduce the joy of our lives, Erin Keren.
-Megan
