Cloth Diapering!

So I thought I'd get on here and just blab about things no one cares to read...except maybe 2 of you. Why you ask? Because sweet BabyGirl is laying on me sleeping and I don't want to wake her and I've done everything else on the computer I can think of...so now I am blogging about nothing.

Let's see...BabyGirl's 2 month birthday is coming up fast but that is for another post. Boy do I love her.

Oh, here is something to blog about! We started using cloth diapers! Finally! Here is a pic to refresh your memory of what is making my baby so adorable these days:

Before BabyGirl was born I had everything I needed except something to put used diapers in until ready to be washed. The last two months has been the biggest whirlwind of my life...I just didn't take the time...wait a second, what am I saying? I didn't HAVE the time to research what I wanted to use for used diapers. So last week I got myself together and found all sorts of different ideas. I settled on the Monkey Foot Designs wetbag that you can hang on the changing table. And since I am so tech savvy...here is a pic I found online:

 Funny that you can like something as much as a wetbag...I always knew I was crazy. Anyway, I LOVE the fabric I chose...I decided I don't care if we have a boy next...gender neutral is no fun when this is really a gift for me, right?!

My mom and sister gave me a travel size wetbag to put in BabyGirl's diaper bag...for use on the go! Seen below...

 It never occurred to me that I could get a bigger one to use at home...well actually I didn't even know it was possible until I researched. I liked the wetbag option because according to my research...that phrase just made me think of Magic School Bus...I think I might have shown too many of those in the classroom apparently!...anyway...focus...where was I? Oh yeah, I liked the wetbag option because supposedly they keep odors down much better than using a pail. So...we shall see!

I ordered the bag last week and decided that same day to just start using the smaller wetbag I have until the big one came in the mail...that way I could go ahead and start using the diapers. Funny how I was going to my mom's for a week that same day as well. I figured I could wash diapers there just as easily as here! I did find that taking care of her hm...messy...diapers wasn't as handy at my moms as it will be here. We have a diaper sprayer to attach to the toilet for that not so glorious part of cloth diapering.

So yeah...SO EASY. I could have started using them her first week home if I'd only known how easy it would be. Basically the only difference is that I am washing the diapers instead of throwing them away. We were given practically all our diapers from family members as gifts which was a MASSIVE blessing. I couldn't be more grateful because seriously...I am in love with cloth diapering. You are crazy to use disposables. :) CRAZY! They are so much better for BabyGirl's skin (HUGE fan of that) and in the long run it is so much CHEAPER than disposables and they are adorable!

...and now BabyGirl is waking up so with that I will end this post! If you ever want to know more about cloth diapering, just ask!

-Megan

First Month

Baby Girl here are some things I want to remember about your 1st month of life. (Actually you are currently almost 2 months old so I am back-tracking.) I am basically doing this type of post so friends and family out of town can keep up with the most beautiful baby on the planet, but also for my sake...to remember. I have done a terrible job of keeping track of all the changes. The first 6 weeks of bringing BabyGirl home were something else. ...and that's all I'll say about that!

-At her two week appt. BabyGirl weighed 8lbs 9 oz.
 -She wears size newborn clothes; however, I bought very little of this size because I really didn't think she would wear them long, if at all...so she is forced to wear clothes that are a little too big most of the time!
 -She wears size newborn diapers.
 -Her hair is still the same beautiful brown color as it was when she was born; however, we feel that maybe it has gotten a little lighter...could be our imagination, though. We really haven't noticed any of it falling out or getting thinner as we have heard it will do.
-She is a very alert baby. She loves to stare at anything and everything...usually something really random. If you're holding her on your shoulder it is not uncommon to find her boring a hole into the couch with her stare.


-We had some projectile spit-up issues but gratefully a friend who is a lactation consultant suggested that she was eating too fast and to try burping her every few minutes. This worked like a charm and the spit-up issues completely stopped.

-She is starting to settle into a routine. At 3 weeks I attempted putting her on a schedule...thanks (or no thanks as you will read) to BabyWise. The only word I can think of for this experience is HATE. On both our parts. After struggling for a few days I realized that when I let Baby Girl sleep as long as she wants (to a degree), wake on her own, and decide when she is hungry, life is so much better! She eats more and sleeps way better than when I was trying to wake her and force her to eat or stay awake. I was determined to stick to BabyWise rules but this just did not work for me or for Baby Girl. I absolutely will not let my newborn scream at the top of her lungs for the sake of letting her "cry it out" in learning how to self soothe. I just won't do it. For several reasons...which I don't feel like getting into on here! I realize this method works for some people and I certainly am not criticizing you...it just didn't work for us! I also realize as she gets older and understands more of what is going on I might be more willing to try again.
-She eats every three-and-a-half to four hours. Sometimes shorter. I try not to let her go longer than 4 during the day. 
-It takes her about an hour to take in a full feeding. One awesome thing I will say about BabyWise that was critical for me is to ensure baby takes in a full feeding. This way she learns what it's like to feel full. Otherwise she will just want to snack all day. This was VERY difficult in the beginning because all she wanted to do was sleep. She would eat for about 2 minutes and then fall asleep. We had to do everything from tickling her feet, swiping a cold cloth across her head, changing her diaper, etc. Feedings took up to an hour and a half but this paid off amazingly as she now eats a full feed every time. (And a feeding now (at 7 weeks old) takes less than 30 minutes but that is for her 2 month post!)

-She takes her last feeding between 10 and midnight. We swaddle her up tight, sing to her, pray for her, lay her down and watch the magic happen. She falls asleep almost instantly (usually :) ) and sleeps until 3 or 4am. After eating and getting changed she goes right back down and sleeps until about 8am. GLORIOUS. She is a great sleeper. We are WAY blessed.
-BabyGirl L.O.V.E.S. her bink (for you southern folk this is translated "paci"). We realized this in the hospital. I wasn't going to even take any but I did and was so glad! When we got home she decided she didn't like the ones she'd been sucking and instead chose a butt ugly Braves one. ...not that I don't like the Braves..I do...but not when it is the decoration on my baby GIRL'S pacifier. THANKFULLY, Daniel and I found a type that matched the nipple and now we have cute, girly binks again. All is right in the world.

-BabyGirl smiles ALL the time...when she is awake, that is. Which is for about 30 minutes or so after each feeding...then she conks right back out again until her next feeding.

-She LOVES to be swaddled, especially when being put to sleep. During the day we swaddle her in a blanket but at night we put her in a swaddle...we got these as gifts and they are LIFESAVERS when it comes to my child. She adores them. As do I.
-Rather than holding her 24/7, we are working on laying her down to nap. This is not her favorite new thing.
-BabyGirl took her 1st trip to the beach. It didn't feel like much of a vacation for mommy and BabyGirl sure didn't have a clue but it was a fun week!
-Moving into her 2nd month of life we will settle into a new normal (i.e. no visitors to help cook and clean!)...we will see how it goes!

-Megan

What's In a (Baby Girl's) Name?

I know I sure haven't updated much since Baby Girl has been born! Let's just say having a baby is life changing. To put it mildly. As if you didn't know that already. 

 I have several ideas for new posts rolling around in my head, but I figured I'd start with a great topic...Baby Girl's name! Beware of the following post as it is long!

Daniel and I chose Baby Girl's name when we were engaged. If you know me at all, you know that I've been somewhat obsessed with the topic of babies. I've been naming my future kids since I can remember. One of my earliest memories of name ideas was I planned to name the twins I just knew I would have one day, Shelby and Kelby. I can even remember where I was when I came up with that fabulous combo. ...let's just say I'm glad I didn't have twins then. I don't mind the name Shelby...but Kelby?! Is that even a name? And the two names together? Yikes. Also, after having one baby...the thought of twins is enough to send me running to the hills never to return. I ADORE Baby Girl and I LOVE having a baby...but I can't imagine the work of TWO babies.

Anyway, because of my obsession, you can imagine that the topic of what we might name our future children came up between Daniel and me, well...often. Poor guy. 

Daniel probably doesn't, but I remember exactly where and what we were doing when we came up with the first and middle names of our future little girl.

Daniel's older sister passed away 10 years ago from a cancerous brain tumor. Daniel and I have been together for 8 years so I missed the opportunity of meeting her by 2 years. She was a woman of God whose life made a difference. She committed her last years on earth to living for the Lord. Through her example, several lives were saved. 

If we ever had a little girl, we decided that her first name would be, Erin, in honor and memory of her aunt. We hope and pray that our Erin will choose to live her life for her Savior, just as her Aunt Erin did. 

Once we decided this, you can bet I immediately began thinking of middle names. :) During our engagement, Daniel's cousin had a baby and we fell in love with her middle name and the meaning behind it. If you've ever read the book of Job, you know that he had quite a journey. Job was a man of integrity, who loved God. Satan believed that if Job lost all he had been blessed with, he would turn his back on God. God allowed Satan to attack all that Job had and guess what? Job proved Satan wrong. His faith stood firm and he continued to love and praise God. Once all the trials were over, God re-established all that Job had and beyond. He was blessed with children, three of them girls who were known to be the most beautiful of the land. One of the daughters was named Keren-Happuch. 

We chose the first part of this name, Keren, to be our baby girl's middle name. 

Let me clarify, Keren is pronounced kuh-Rin...not like the popular name Karen which would rhyme with Erin...which I would never do to my child!

Little did we know the name Keren would have even more meaning to us once it came time to use it! If you've followed my blog, you know that we didn't get pregnant when WE decided it was time. I, especially, went through a period where I had to choose what I wanted in life...God or motherhood. Was living for the Lord more important to me, or was being a mother more important to me? 

Now, some of you might say, well why not both?...live for God and seek out being a mother. However, if I'm living for the Lord, that means I have to trust Him and HIS plan for my life...not my own plan. 

Ultimately I was created to serve the Lord...that's why we're all created, whether we choose to or not. So who am I to tell God what kind of life I am supposed to have? I wanted to get pregnant so desperately that it was becoming more important to me than the life God was laying out for me...which at the time was obviously not a pregnancy or it would have happened! 

I knew I was being faced with the question, God or mommy? The days I battled this question were the toughest days of my life by far...but they were also some of the greatest days of my life. Giving God the thing I wanted MOST in life...but realizing what I wanted MOST in life was Him. Just Him.

If I had to choose, I couldn't imagine choosing something other than God and my relationship with Him. When I finally surrendered to Him, the peace and joy that followed was amazing...something that can only come from a relationship with Him. I can honestly say that from that day forward, I no longer struggled with the desire to get pregnant. I was 100% O.K. with the fact that I would probably never be pregnant. I trusted God and the life He created for me to live. I wanted that life more than I wanted to be pregnant. My life was changed.

This journey, to me, was similar to Job's journey. In the end, He remained true to his God...choosing Him above anything else...no matter the trial. And God never let go of Job. No strings attached, giving God what I thought I wanted most in life, He caused me to realize that I wanted Him more. My joy was restored and my life was filled with peace. I was excited to see what God had in store for my life, for my husband's life, for our marriage. Over the next year and a half, I grew more in my relationship with God than I had in years. 

 ...and then, Erin Keren was conceived. 

Never would I have imagined...I didn't think I would ever be pregnant. I could not fathom the thought that God lovingly took what I gave Him through many tears, only to return it more beautifully than it ever would have been had it happened when I wanted it to happen. What a mighty God I serve. To Him belongs all the glory.       

So, I am beyond ecstatic to introduce the joy of our lives, Erin Keren.

-Megan

September 15th...Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Baby Girl is here! We couldn't have had a better labor/delivery experience had we planned it ourselves. I'll start from the beginning...a very good place to start.

My sister, Rebekah, flew in the evening of the 13th. The next day I had my 41 week doctor appt. Because I was past my due date, they checked several things to make sure the baby looked fine and to determine how long my doctor would let the pregnancy go before wanting to induce. Everything looked great; however, we scheduled an induction for the following Monday. Yuck.

But then.... 

I was hooked up to the monitor to check the baby's heart rate, as well as whether or not I was having contractions. To my surprise, I was! They were coming every 4 minutes apart. I knew I was having Braxton Hicks and I was definitely feeling them more than I had, but I didn't think it was actual labor. The doctor sent me to walk for an hour to see if they kept up. They did and after that hour I was dilated to 5 cm (before she sent me to walk I was at 4cm)!

After a quick lunch at Firehouse Subs Daniel and I headed to the hospital. My mom and Rebekah brought our bags...luckily we were already packed since we'd been waiting on Baby Girl's arrival! 

We checked in at 2 o clock and I was SO happy I wasn't in hard labor yet because so much went on once we got there (we had pre-registered but all the paperwork was on its way with my mom and sister...so we had to re-register...luckily Daniel did most of it).

The next couple of hours were totally manageable. We walked the halls and basically just hung out. I remember thinking that I could definitely do this...it really wasn't so bad at all.

Then the doctor broke my water.

Oh heaven help me.

I had never known pain before in my life before that moment. Nothing compared. Anything I thought was pain before then was pure bliss compared to what followed for the next 6 hours. Multiply the pain I'd been experiencing every 4 minutes by a hundred thousand and that's what started instantaneously after she broke my water....well, with each contraction anyway.

I progressed pretty well from that point. I couldn't have done it without having prepared mentally beforehand...knowing that I would have to rely fully on God's strength to get through it. I also NEVER could have done it naturally without Daniel. Never before have I seen God move so powerfully through him...or any other person for that matter. He was right there with me through every contraction, doing exactly what I needed or wanted. He encouraged me through the whole process. He never tired or got discouraged. He was purely amazing. He was a vessel for the Lord that night as Daniel, himself, never could have done what was required. An incredible bond was definitely created between us through the whole process and I am SO GLAD we decided to go natural....and for all those who are already asking, Yes, I would go natural again.

I never had a thought that I wanted meds or an epidural..but I do remember thinking that the pain just might kill me...I still can't hardly bare to remember the pain. Luckily the memory is fading!

Finally at 12:37 a.m. on September 15th our beautiful baby girl was born at 8 lbs 7 oz and 21 in long! When I opened my eyes I COULD NOT believe that little miracle came from me. I doubted the whole pregnancy that there was actually a baby in my belly...I just couldn't fathom the thought. Seeing her for the first time was amazing. ...not to mention I was ECSTATIC that the pain was over!

Seeing Baby Girl for the first time was incredible, but I'll always remember Daniel's face when she was born. I didn't know I could love that man any more than I already did. But, boy, could I ever. He LOVES his wife and baby girl!

-Megan

41 Weeks!

From what I am wearing in the above pic, you can guess what happened this week!

How far along: 41 Weeks with Baby Girl!

Size of Baby: The ultrasound tech predicted 8lbs 2oz. She said my belly is ALL baby. Baby Girl is so packed in there she couldn't even get any good pictures. (I had to have an ultrasound due to being past my due date...the Dr. wanted to check on the amniotic fluid...which looked great!)

Weight Gain: 23 lbs still

Maternity Clothes: Again, this entry is no different.   

Sleep: Tired Tired Tired. Sleep is very uncomfortable. I am definitely feeling this belly!  

Foods I'm loving: Always dessert. Not craving anything special this week.     

Foods I'm hating: I cut milk out of my diet this week and NO more heartburn! Yay!

 Movement: Slowing down due to Baby Girl not having any space...but she still loves to make herself known by stretching my belly out every which way...my belly definitely has no more room to grow!   

Best moment this week: My sister arriving from WA state and...Going into labor!! More on that in the next post... 

What I miss: Same as last week...Being pregnant but still feeling great. These days everything hurts and nothing is comfortable.     

What I'm looking forward to: THIS BABY'S ARRIVAL. 

 

40 Weeks

Right after we found out we were expecting my sister insisted we start taking pics...so there I am at 6 weeks. ...and here I am at 40 weeks. Quite a change!

How far along: 40 Weeks with Baby Girl!

Size of Baby: Full grown. Well done. As I pass my due date I pray she doesn't get too big!!

Weight Gain: 23 lbs to be exact

Maternity Clothes: As you can see I am wearing a t-shirt in the above pic. It doesn't get any better than that these days. I am tempted to wear one to church on Sunday.  

Sleep: Very tired. All the time. I sleep ok even though I wake up a hundred-thousand times each night. Funny how if I woke up once during the night before I was pregnant I wondered what the heck was wrong with me. Now if I can go back to sleep every time I wake up without laying there thinking about everything I consider it a great night's sleep.  

Foods I'm loving: I pretty much hate all food these days because I'm really having an issue with heartburn. I actually dread eating each day.     

Foods I'm hating: Everything.

 Movement: Baby Girl is moving a lot these days. I just wish she'd start moving in the right direction...out!   

Best moment this week: Hearing I'd made more progress at my Dr. appt! Although, Baby Girl is still not here yet, so...maybe that news isn't so exciting. 

What I miss: Being pregnant but still feeling great. These days everything hurts and nothing is comfortable.     

What I'm looking forward to: THIS BABY'S ARRIVAL. I can't wait. I actually find myself thinking that maybe it won't be so bad to be induced even though I've been vehemently against it the entire pregnancy.

Side Note:  Someone (not for the 1st time) actually thought we are naming our baby "Secret" when she asked what the name is and I told her "it's a secret." Maybe I'm not speaking clearly enough or maybe people just aren't listening...not quite sure...but no, we are not naming our child "Secret." So for the MANY of you who won't let up about us telling you the name...there's a name you can cross off the list. 

I hope the next post will be all about Baby Girl!

39 Weeks

How far along: 39 Weeks with Baby Girl!

Size of Baby: Dreamed she was 9 lbs 1 oz. I am somewhat hoping that's not true...but we shall see!

Weight Gain: Around 20...maybe more...not quite sure cause I haven't weighed myself since going to the doc last week.

Maternity Clothes: Blah. I am ready for a change in wardrobe. 

Sleep: Same as last week. I have been REALLY tired this week. Like, really...  

Foods I'm loving: Nothing in particular    

Foods I'm hating: Nothing in particular

 Movement: Baby Girl is moving a lot these days. I just wish she'd start moving in the right direction...out!   

Best moment this week: NOT taking my brother to the airport...worst moment. Hm...I don't know...getting a swiffer wet jet from my brother was pretty exciting. I think I'm so geared up to have Baby Girl that everything else sort of pales in comparison. 

What I miss: Same as last week: This week I have been so so sore. I pretty much hate having to move...and don't even mention trying to get up out of bed. So...I guess I miss being able to get around without feeling as if I'm going to fall apart. 

I am also missing regular clothes...getting tired of maternity.   

What I'm looking forward to: THIS BABY'S ARRIVAL.

Side Note:  If you're still reading this non-exciting post, you can probably tell that I'm drained of energy. We're very ready for Baby Girl's arrival...it's hard to be in this waiting period. I have ZERO energy. Several people this week were shocked when we told them my due date was 1 week away. Apparently I don't look that big to the public...I don't even think I look that big...but I can assure you I FEEL 39 weeks pregnant. I have LOVED LOVED LOVED being pregnant...Now I am LOVE LOVE LOVING the idea of not being pregnant and having Baby Girl sitting between us. Will I have a 40 week post??? 

38 Weeks

I haven't taken a 38 week pic this week so this is the best I had of a belly shot. I kept meaning to get a pic but at the end of every day I'd realize I forgotten to take one yet again. I compared this pic to a pic of me at 36 weeks...such a change! Daniel didn't believe it when I showed him. Baby Girl is dropped and ready and so is her mama!! Well...to the ready part...and actually come to think of it the dropped part defines me pretty well these days too since all I want to do is drop on the couch. 

...and Daniel will love me for posting this pic

How far along: 38 Weeks with Baby Girl!...I'll be 39 weeks tomorrow so I thought about skipping this post, but here I am.

Size of Baby: Watermelon...and I believe it! I am guessing she will be about 8.5 lbs and 21 inches long. Daniel says 7.5 lbs. Most everyone else says 6 lbs. I can't wait to prove them wrong...this is no 6 lb baby!

Weight Gain: Why does this particular topic keep getting left off my entries? I basically copy and paste from the previous entries so I'm not quite sure how this one sneaks out. Anyway, I've gained about 20 lbs...pretty good in my book! Funny how people have no shame when they see that you are pregnant...I get asked ALL THE TIME how much weight I've gained. Usually it consists of, "have you even gained any weight?!" (I guess this is where the 6 lb baby guesses are coming from.) Anyway, just don't ask this of pregnant women, people. I mean, seriously. Not that I mind telling people...I'm pretty proud of the fact that I didn't gain an astronomical amount, but still...it's not like I want to go sharing it with everyone...close friends, fine...but strangers, no. Also, while I'm on the topic of "no shame people," someone actually asked us the other day if Daniel is the daddy. Excuse me?!

Maternity Clothes: These days I want anything comfortable...I do not care about looking cute whatsoever. As long as I am covered I am good. I would be happy if I could lay on the couch in my pj's all day...and I wouldn't be surprised if I actually DO do that over the next week.

Sleep: Just shoot me. SO uncomfortable these days.  

Foods I'm loving: Sadly, I am falling into loving anything that is easy to grab...which most often means something not that healthy. I just have so little energy these days.    

Foods I'm hating: Tomato based = heartburn...otherwise, I pretty much love shoving food in my mouth these days.

 Movement: The huge, big belly rolls have stopped for the most part. Baby Girl just doesn't have any space left in there! The last several days she has moved A LOT though. Constant jabs all the time. I will miss that. Although my ribs won't.    

Best moment this week: Being with my family! 3 of my 4 siblings (not including in-laws) were here for the weekend, along with my mom, stepdad and niece. My siblings all stayed at the house while my mom and stepdad stayed in a hotel. It was a great weekend. 

Also, going to the Dr. and hearing that her arrival could be any day! Although, then she followed up with saying, "I promise you'll have a baby by the end of September." So...who knows when she'll actually arrive but apparently things are looking good.

What I miss: This week I have been so so sore. I pretty much hate having to move...and don't even mention trying to get up out of bed. So...I guess I miss being able to get around without feeling as if I'm going to fall apart.    

What I'm looking forward to: THIS BABY'S ARRIVAL.

Side Note:  If you've been keeping up with these, obviously Baby Girl did not arrive while all the family was here. After my Dr. appt. this past Monday, I really thought she might have arrived by now but...obviously not. My mom left for WA State for 4 days so what kind of crazy timing would it be for Baby Girl to come while she's gone! We shall see! Due date is in 10 days. 

Binkies and Bauer

We're getting ready around here! Yes, my baby will be a binky baby...or paci, if you're from the south, which I am not...so it's a bink. Which is seeming like a really strange word the more I think about it and type it...

Anywho, I packed Baby Girl's bag yesterday and I'm working on mine. This part of the pregnancy is tough because we're ready for her to arrive but we don't know when it will happen...I'm 38 weeks today so hopefully she'll be here in 2 weeks or LESS! 

Someone asked Daniel today if I've started cleaning everything yet. Later he came home to find me cleaning out the kitchen drawers...like washing the drawers. He laughed and said I must be ready since I'm trying to find things to clean! 

I would say we're ready! We have everything we need and my mile long to-do list for things to do around the house at the beginning of the summer is complete...although somehow I keep coming up with things to do...like washing drawers. 

And Bauer is not allowed in the living room during the day anymore. I just really can't handle the thought of my baby mixing in with dog hair/dander/slobber/general yuckiness...so he's banned to the kitchen during the day and we let him free once Daniel gets home from work. In all seriousness, he basically sleeps all day so why not just sleep in the kitchen rather than the living room...definitely works for me! I would rather his area not be my kitchen, but don't even get me started on that subject...Anyway, we've started this with him now so that when Baby Girl arrives it's not as big of a shock...he'll already be used to it.

Bauer really is a great dog...I really do love the guy, but in general I am really not much of an animal person...well, not even a tiny bit. I'm sure you've probably already gathered that. I do NOT think it's cute when a dog licks a baby...quite the opposite...I feel the urge to hurl when I see it. However, I know many of you out there adore your pets and are probably shooting daggers at me through your computer screen...please don't! This is just me personally...you can let your babies get licked all you want! 

Weird thing is, is that I'm kind of looking forward to seeing how Bauer acts around Baby Girl. He is SO GOOD with kids. He adores them. My niece has been here a couple of times in the last few weeks and he listens to her like he's the most obedient dog ever. She can practically whisper a command and he promptly does it no questions asked. She wore him out the other day...she kept making him sit and come over and over and over and over and....Anyway, after a LONG time of this, Bauer flopped his full body to the ground when she told him to sit, laying there like he was practically dead. Then when she told him to come, he made it look like it took every effort in his poor body to get up. He's got personality! Or maybe he's just out of shape...

Here's one of the famous looks he typically gives when a camera is aimed towards him. 

Such a cute pup...he was THRILLED to have my mom's huge yard to run around in.

Can't see it too well, but here's a treat he left for his Uncle Tommie...you can guess what it is.

The poor guy really doesn't play catch too well...throw it about 3 times and he's done. 

Getting a kiss from Aunt Hannah. I could never...

 Look at how he's grown! Such a cutie. In the pic above he was in his little puppy seatbelt...so adorable!

-Megan

Grief and Joy

So I started a post yesterday; however, after rereading it I decided to trash it and start again. Maybe I was hormonal yesterday...

Anyway, there are a few adoption blogs I check all the time...maybe a little stalkish like. My favorites are the blogs of families waiting for their babies because then you get to see what it's like when they finally get their babies! One couple was just matched with their baby after waiting almost a year. Another family adopted about 2 years ago and have now started the process again...just recently they were matched with a baby who will be born this fall.

This might sound crazy, but I actually find myself envious of them...which brings me to the topic of this entry.

I'm going to attempt a little honesty here...

I can't remember if I've shared this before, but I try to be very sensitive with the whole infertility/pregnancy/adoption issues that many face. However, I've learned that I can't keep my mouth shut when God is doing something. I can't keep my mouth shut because I know someone else's heart isn't right and could take offense. What God can do in that heart is purely amazing so I MUST share what God has done. Obviously not by bashing it over someone's head...but at least being willing to listen to the Spirit's lead when He tells me to open my mouth. 

I'm not sure why but I've decided to let you all in on how the whole pregnancy/adoption on hold news went down personally for me...it ain't pretty.
I can't explain it but when we went from cruising along the adoption path, to all of a sudden careening down a different path with our pregnancy there were lots of emotions....and not good ones.

If there is anything I have learned over the last year it is that God is sovereign. He knows exactly what He is doing. He does not make mistakes. He does not change His plan. We can not change His plan.

This is what I clung to when I found out we were expecting.

Somehow before we even called our agency, I knew they were going to tell us we had to wait to continue our adoption. I was surprised at some of the details...but I think God was preparing me for the news that we would have to wait for some period of time.

I can't explain it but it wasn't easy going from the adoption path to a pregnancy path. This wasn't in the plan! This wasn't what our hearts were all involved in. This wasn't what we had spent the last two years working towards. "What is going on???" constantly went through my head.

Here is some honesty...I had a really hard time with other people's ecstatic reaction to our pregnancy.

 Gifts were immediately bought for our biological baby...or for us, "congratulations" was constantly said, tears were cried by some when they heard the news of our pregnancy.

All I could think was, "but what about the baby we're adopting? / Where is he or she? / How is the birthmom? / Here we thought she was probably pregnant at this point, but considering we have to wait almost two years to complete our adoption...she probably isn't. / Why didn't you respond with such great happiness when we announced we were adopting? / Why hasn't that baby been showered with gifts? / Why did we never hear, "congratulations?"

I truly had to grieve over the "loss" of our adoption. I grieved over not getting to meet a birthmom soon. I grieved over knowing we wouldn't be entering a hospital to meet an unknown baby. I grieved over losing our social worker (as she has retired now). I grieved over the baby I had prayed so much for who I thought would be joining our family any day. I grieved over the birthmom who I thought was about to face something too hard to put into words.

I grieved for my baby. The baby we were to adopt.

Funny how I had learned so much of God's sovereignty over the year before but the second something happens I'm not expecting I allow my little world to be completely shaken. God sure wasn't surprised!! This was exactly His plan!

So, thus began a journey of God leading me beside Him. Reminding me that He is in control. Our baby was not supposed to come to us yet. He or she is coming...just not yet.

...and He slowly introduced me to this little life inside of me. A life I never expected. A life that is an absolute miracle. A life given to me that I did not deserve. A life that was meant to be...before her brother or sister whom we adopt.

I can't wait to meet this baby. I can't wait to see her face. I can't wait to see what her hands and feet look like. I can't wait to see her ears. I can't wait to see how long she is and how much she weighs. I can't wait to tell her about who spoke life into my womb and breathed her into being.

...and I will feel this same way when we finally adopt her brother or sister.

God is amazing. I am so unworthy of Him and His love.

-Megan

 

37 Weeks

 

How far along: 37 Weeks with Baby Girl!

Size of Baby: Watermelon...and I believe it!

Maternity Clothes: I have nothing new to write here...except that I am sort of getting tired of them. I want my skirts back.

Sleep: Still liking a lot. Thankfully I can rest when I need to for the most part. I slept in today, took a nap, and I'm sure I will be happy to go to bed tonight! Luckily I'm sleeping through the night better than I have at other parts of the pregnancy. 

Foods I'm loving: Dessert and fruit. I haven't bought more Oreos yet...however, Daniel brought home chocolate chip cookies from a youth event that have been taking their place just fine.   

Foods I'm hating: Spaghetti at the moment...here is a pic of why...

  

Movement: I love to feel her move. Counting her movements tonight after dinner I stopped when I got to 13 within about 10 minutes...Dr. says she should be moving 6-10 times within an hour of eating/changing position/etc. I guess she's doing just fine!   

Best moment this week: So far it's been going to a Braves game last night. My brother bought awesome tickets behind home plate. It was so fun. 

 Daniel, Me, Lillian (our niece), and Baby Girl...not enjoying how I look like a behemoth amazon woman in this pic but I sure love the reason why!

 Chipper Jones and Me! I am pretty sure this was my last game getting to see him play so I made Daniel take my pic with him. My family has lots of memories of this guy! Sure will miss him being on the team!

 Seth (my big brother), Me, and Lillian...good looking bunch!

    The only pic I got of my mom and stepdad...Afterwards I realized that I wish we got a whole group pic!

What I miss: I don't know...anything I've written on any of the other entries for this. I really can't say that I am desperately missing anything...I really like being pregnant.    

What I'm looking forward to: This baby's arrival! I can't wait to see what she looks like. This might sound odd, but I'm looking forward to the labor/birth too. Obviously I'm not an idiot and I know it won't be the most pleasant experience but it will mean my baby's on the way!

Side Note:  I wonder when she will arrive! Four of us siblings, plus my niece will be together next weekend so maybe Baby Girl will be a gem and decide to come while we're all together! Rebekah can hop on a plane and join us!! We haven't all been together in several years so it would sure be fun!

36 Weeks

 

How far along: 36 Weeks with Baby Girl!

Size of Baby: Honeydew! The books say she's probably around 5 lbs. and 18 in. or so long.

Weight Gain: About 18 pounds.

Maternity Clothes: I have nothing new to write here...except that I am sort of getting tired of them. I want my skirts back.

Sleep: I am always tired lately. This past week I can sleep in and go to bed early with no trouble sleeping. I also get worn out quite easily. 

Foods I'm loving: Dessert and fruit. We happened to have Oreos this week...I have looked forward to eating them with a glass of milk every night. Too bad when they're gone...I might be buying more.  

Foods I'm hating: So after writing about not having heartburn in over a week guess what I've had this week. So annoying. That is definitely a symptom that can go and never return.  

Movement: Same as last week. She is enjoying stretching out in there...something that is not too enjoyable for mommy. She crams into my ribs and then pushes out towards the lower belly at the same time...ouch.   

Best moment this week: Getting my house cleaner! I have had this overwhelming burden to get things done before Baby comes. My mom and niece came last weekend and got so much done. Such a relief!   

What I miss: Moving with no pain.   

What I'm looking forward to: This baby's arrival! For the first time I can definitely say I feel pregnant. It's getting harder and harder to get around. It takes effort to get up from a sitting position. I won't even mention trying to get out of the bed. If I walk for an extended period of time, bring on the Braxton Hicks! They aren't painful at all...just WAY uncomfortable. There are a lot of positives and things that I love about pregnancy, but I'm definitely feeling like another little person is taking over!

Side Note:  I had a doctor appointment this afternoon and we toured the hospital this evening. Ugh. I HATE hospitals with a SERIOUS passion. I can't believe I'm about to be a patient in one. I dread it. The doctor said everything looked good and I can go into labor whenever!

Totally random...Pregnancy and Name Thoughts

I'm not really sure what this entry is all about...I guess I just felt like blabbing to whoever is bored.

How the heck am I 36 weeks along today?? I just can't even fathom that thought. It BLOWS my mind.

Overall I really have felt great throughout the pregnancy. I commented to Daniel the other day that I haven't been sick at all...I used to get colds here and there or just have days where I didn't feel good...Since I've been pregnant, I haven't had any of that though! Well...minus the yuck weeks in the 1st trimester; however, those weren't even all that bad as long as I kept food on my stomach...which was tricky since eating any amount larger than the palm of my hand made me SICK. Those were fun weeks.

The 2nd trimester I can't think of any complaints. I basically felt...not pregnant. Ha! I mean, there just wasn't much of a difference. I had energy to do whatever, I didn't have to eat rabbit sized meals, no heartburn...everything was great. The only difference was I began feeling Baby Girl move!!

The 3rd trimester really has been fine, as well. Definitely different and definitely not as easy, but not too bad. I've had some uncomfortable weeks sleeping. This week I seem to be WORN. OUT. I got up with the plan of cleaning both bathrooms, sweeping/mopping the floors, and doing laundry...nothing unusual from what I would have done pre-pregnancy. WHOA. After cleaning the bathrooms (counters, toilets, sinks, mirrors...nothing more), I really felt worn out...like, not a "I'm lazy so I want to quit midway through my job," but a "if I don't sit down right this second, I might die" kind of worn out...so I decided to throw lunch together and rest on the couch for a little while. So, I started going through pictures on our computer for something I'm trying to do. Anyway, after 30 minutes or so I got up to resume my activities. OH. MY. GOSH. I could hardly move. Not kidding. I can't even explain it to someone who hasn't been pregnant before. I was SO UNBELIEVABLY sore that I thought I might just be bed ridden the rest of the day. I've had pain in my lower belly/pelvis/lower back with ligaments stretching and bones shifting for the great event known as childbirth...I am telling you, when I got up off the couch I realized just how little I can actually do these days without feeling like I'm falling apart! I guess I can cut myself some slack since I am 9 months pregnant, but it's so funny because I understand the fact that I'm 9 months pregnant but for some reason my mind hasn't caught up with that fact. I keep wondering why I'm so tired and sore.

My mind not catching up to the fact that I'm 9 months pregnant brings me to another thought. Where has the time gone?? I used to look at women towards the end of their pregnancies and have this opinion that they probably felt like they'd been pregnant forever. I don't know if I'm abnormal or what, but I feel like I just found out I was pregnant! I mean, really! I do NOT feel as if it's time to have this baby. I just can't believe it.

Right now Baby Girl is pushing so hard into my ribs that I think one might break. I will be sad not to feel that anymore. I will be sad not to have heartburn anymore (although I haven't had it in over a week). I will be sad when I don't feel like a beluga whale trying to roll over in bed. I will be sad when there's not a basketball between Daniel and Me when we hug. I will be sad when I actually have energy to clean house. I will be sad when I have to give up maternity clothes. I will be sad when I am allowed to drink a coke. I will be sad when I can bend over without struggling.

I will NOT be sad to meet Baby Girl. I will not be sad to see what she looks like. I will not be sad to kiss her. I will not be sad to cuddle with her. I will not be sad to smell her. I will not be sad to see her daddy hold her. I will not be sad to dress her. I will not be sad to tell others they can't hold her because she's MINE and no one else's, but her daddy's. I will not be sad to see this miracle from God come to life outside my womb.

I pray DESPERATELY that we will be willing to yield to God's leading in raising this child. She is His and His alone. May we never take her for granted, or place her before our marriage. May we raise her to know that NOTHING of this world matters. The ONLY thing that matters is serving her Savior, Jesus. Everything else is worthless. As I've looked at nursery ideas, I've seen that most nurseries have the baby's name over the crib or somewhere else in the room...some nurseries having the baby's name or initial(s) in more than one place. Don't get me wrong, I want Baby Girl to have an identity. She will be her own person, after all.

However, her life is not about her. Contrary to the world's thoughts and teachings, I know. Imagine that. The ONE reason she was created, is to serve the Lord. God has taught me so much these last few months about how so much of my understanding of Christianity was absorbed with SELF. I won't go into everything now because this is already long enough! But, He has begun this HUGE work of transforming my thoughts to see the Word the way He designed...through Christ. Instead of trying to figure out how a certain passage applies to ME, I am now beginning to read the Word for the sole purpose of getting to know the God whom I serve. Anyway, WAY different blog entry there and I'm sort of running down a rabbit trail.

...back to the point. From the beginning, I knew I didn't want Baby Girl's name plastered all over her room. From day one of her life on this earth, I want her to know that her identity is through Christ Jesus. I want her to know that it's not about her. It's about HIM. I know monogramming is really popular right now...I even think it can be cute to a degree. However, I do not want all of Baby Girl's clothes monogrammed. I don't want everything she owns to have her name all over it. I do not want to raise her in any way to think that her little world revolves around herself. In this world that teaches inner beauty comes naturally, I want her to know that God's Word teaches that our hearts are ugly and beyond repair without Jesus Christ. There is nothing inside us that is beautiful. Nothing. Only Jesus makes us beautiful...and that is only through His blood.

And for that reason, Baby Girl's name will not be over her crib or a big focal point of any part of the room. Maybe I'll post pics of the nursery one of these days. It should have already been done and ready for baby but I forgot to email something for Daniel to print out the other day. So...hopefully that gets done soon!! I really wasn't into the whole big theme thing...I don't know...but I do have a few things up. I'll let you see some soon!   

And with that, I will end this long, random post! And yes, I started several sentences with 'and.'

-Megan

35 Weeks!

How far along: 35 Weeks with Baby Girl!

Size of Baby: Honeydew! The books say she's probably around 5 lbs. and 18 in. or so long.

Weight Gain: No idea. I haven't weighed myself since the last dr. appt.

Maternity Clothes: I have nothing new to write here...

Sleep: Not my best friend these days. So uncomfortable. 

Foods I'm loving: Dessert and fruit. Nothing weird or abnormal...people ask me all the time if I've had any cravings...the answer is no. I can't remember craving anything throughout the entire pregnancy. I can't really say I crave sugar...it's just something I know I shouldn't have much of and so because of that it seems like I want it all the time. I did think the other day that it would be nice to drink a coke...I haven't been drinking much of anything other than water the entire pregnancy, and if I do it's juice or milk. 

Foods I'm hating: Nothing at all and I haven't had heartburn in over a week!!! It has been glorious. 

Movement: Slowing down a little. For most of the pregnancy I haven't noticed her being more or less active at any time of day. Now she seems to have times where she's more active. After lunch and in the evening. She's pretty still and quiet all morning. She used to be really active when I lay down...she still moves some then but not like she used to. Running out of space!   

Best moment this week: My birthday! I have to say I did not want to turn 29 but I didn't get much say in that. I really had a great birthday though. My mom made apple pie per my request...my FAVORITE...only when she makes it though...I never order it at restaurants or buy it at grocery stores cause it's gross. I got an AMAZING gift from my sister, Rebekah...TONS of clothes for Baby Girl...filling in some gaps that we had in her wardrobe. I was so excited about it I laid it all out today and looked at everything again. I also got gifts and money from several family members...I have no idea what I'll spend the money on...I usually take months deciding what to spend money on. Daniel took me out today for our birthday date. I decided I wanted to go to Ted's Montana Grill and then PF Changs for dessert because they have the BEST chocolate cake EVER. It's so huge I had to bring half home and I can't wait to dig into it again.   

What I miss: Nothing new here  

What I'm looking forward to: My brother, Seth, comes in from England this weekend to visit for a couple of weeks...should be fun!

Side Note:  My niece, Lily, got to feel the belly when Baby Girl was moving like crazy...my belly was going all over the place. Lily said, "that's kind of weird!" That was her favorite phrase all weekend!

34 Weeks

So I guess I skipped 33 Weeks...I can't even find a pic from 33 weeks so...fail.

I thought I'd do a comparison pic since I'm wearing the same shirt...

Here's 24 Weeks along...

Here I am at 34 Weeks...don't mind the bad posture. I would say there's been quite a change with Baby Girl! Everyone says I look like I have a basketball under my shirt.

 

How far along: 34 Weeks with Baby Girl. Getting closer!!!

Size of Baby: Honeydew! Not the yummiest fruit to eat, but honeydew melon scented stuff sure smells good!

Weight Gain: Not positive...At the doc yesterday I had supposedly gained 6 pounds over the last two weeks but the last time that happened a lot of it ended up being water retention. Right before my appt we had just gotten home from a college retreat in North Georgia. All my extremities were swollen...I had no evidence of ankle bones and they're still not quite back yet. So...that being said, I had already lost 2 pounds by this morning...so I really don't know what my weight is at the moment.

Maternity Clothes: My new FAVORITE thing to wear around the house...Daniel's plain white t-shirts. So comfy and roomy!! Maybe it's sad that I was that excited when I put one on...I can't help it though, by the end of the day I just want something comfortable on...nothing hugging my belly.

Sleep: Not my best friend these days. So uncomfortable. 

Foods I'm loving: As with the entire pregnancy, dessert. I love anything with sugar. 

Foods I'm hating: Nothing really. 

Movement: Lots. The other night Daniel tapped one side of my belly and she sure didn't like that! It was like she shot to the other side as quick as she could...so funny!   

Best moment this week: Learning that she's head down!! I am desperate to not have a c-section and it has been a fear of mine that she won't be in the right position to even attempt a natural birth. So far she is behaving! 

Also, Daniel and I went to see Tim Hawkins live this week. It was so nice to just laugh all evening.  

What I miss: Being comfortable when I am sitting. If I'm not perfectly straight with the legs slightly spread, it's just uncomfortable...she is taking up more and more room!  

What I'm looking forward to: I will be spending a few days with my niece this week so that should be fun. I haven't seen her in about 5 years!

Side Note:  I'm feeling pretty good...getting more uncomfortable but nothing too bad. Everyone thinks I'm small for being 34 weeks along. I tell you what, I sure don't feel small! Well, I mean I don't feel like a walking blimp or anything, but I definitely feel like I have a huge belly that gets in the way! I get worn out and tired very quickly these days. I keep telling myself that I'm 8 months pregnant and I'm allowed to have very little energy!

Change...Yikes

So it's beginning to hit me that my due date is in 6.5 very short weeks. I mean seriously?! Where does the time go?! We are SO looking forward to the day Baby Girl will arrive, but yikes...what a change. This may come as a shock to some of you but I don't do change very well. That might be is definitely an understatement. I can think of several examples where change in my life didn't go quite as smoothly as those around me would have liked. You can ask my parents...or Daniel.

I'm not sleeping well at night partly because I just can't get comfortable, but also because my mind just will. not. stop. I think about what baby will look like, if she will sleep well, how we (mostly I) will feel those first few weeks, if all the visitors will be welcomed or overwhelming, if we have everything we need, that she will grow too fast and I just want her to stay a baby, if the labor and delivery will go smoothly, can I really go natural?, will I need a c-section, will my mom be out of town, do we need newborn size diapers, do we have enough clothes, what will her cry sound like, will she come early, will she be late, I don't have everything in her room organized, the house can't get clean enough, the list goes on and on and on and on. The greatest thing about this is that once I fall asleep I can look forward to thinking about everything all over again at least twice more during the night on my nightly potty trips. :) 

So there's that.

But there's also the thoughts of parenting. I pray daily for wisdom on how to raise Baby Girl. God created her for a purpose...to glorify Him. I've written about 3 paragraphs here and erased all of them because I can't seem to get my thoughts out in a way that speaks what I want...We want to raise her in such a way that she comes to adore her Savior...that she wants nothing else but Jesus. Everything else is meaningless.

So there's that.

But there's also the thoughts of, "yikes...it will never be just Daniel and Me again." Ever. Never. Our routine is about to completely change. Our lives are about to completely change. Everything. Changing. Remember the first paragraph of this entry? Yeah...change is not so good for me. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the thought of having our little girl. I CANNOT wait. I am beyond grateful that God is blessing us with this miracle. I can't even put into words how I feel about God creating this life and allowing me to carry her. However, life is about to CHANGE. Lots of unknowns. Lots of joys. Lots of hard days. Lots of glorious days. All of it different than what I know right now. That being said, you can imagine what I pray about daily. I need daily reminders that God is in control. Not me. Thank the Lord, not me.

One really great thing, is that despite these constant thoughts rolling around in my head, I'm not nervous even for a nano second about bringing Baby Girl home. I wonder how everything is going to go, yes. But nervous, no. I love every single thing about babies. I've heard moms say that their least favorite stage of their kids was the baby stage. WHAT?! I just can't even relate...I'm pretty sure I will want her to stay a baby forever. I can't wait to see Daniel with her. He is just going to be adorable...I could start crying just thinking about it. I am so excited to teach him how to hold her, dress her, definitely change her diaper, and everything else that comes along with her little life. He is going to be such a great daddy.

So, despite my mind not being able to stop, we are getting closer and closer to being ready for Baby Girl's arrival. I think I will still have a gazillion things on my list of things to do when she decides to make her debut, but...God is in control! I'll leave you with a picture from the shower my Sunday School class hosted for me last week. It was all such a blessing...the decorations, food, time spent to prepare, and gifts. The outpouring of love was very humbling.

So I said one picture, but you got four. Just so you know I cropped the pic of me behind the table but it didn't turn up that way on the ole blog...and it's after midnight so it's not getting fixed. Sorry about that. Don't give up on me!

-Megan

32 Weeks

 Here I am a the beginning of 32 Weeks.

 Here I am at the end of 32 Weeks. 

I realize I could have cropped these pictures a tad for you. As you can see, that didn't happen. I was going to use a pic from the shower I had this week but then at the last minute changed my mind...so you get self portraits...which for some odd reason always tend to chop off my head.

How far along: 32 Weeks with Baby Girl. 

Size of Baby: Still a squash...apparently the squash is getting bigger. I don't have an estimation on her weight or anything.

Weight Gain: 13 lbs.

Maternity Clothes: Still wearing all maternity...I'm not sure what to keep putting on this line since nothing is going to change until after the baby's born! I did get a new maternity shirt in the mail from my amazing friend, Kimmy, this week!! I was so excited.

Sleep: Yuck. I am tired ALL THE TIME but I am not sleeping well. My doctor said I can take Tylenol PM if I want, but I don't feel like I'm desperate enough for that. I have definitely hit the stage where I just can't get comfortable. Daniel has about 6 inches of bed space. The rest is my pillows and me.

Foods I'm loving: Well...I may or may not have eaten a cupcake about an hour ago...and I may or may not have then proceeded to eat two cookies and drink a glass of milk. I guess you will never know for sure.

Foods I'm hating: This has nothing to do with pregnancy but I cooked collard greens this week and boy were they sick. The taste wasn't bad, but the texture was like eating straw. Apparently I bought a bum bag. Yay for me and the nutrition I was looking forward to. I did shove them down a few meals but I threw out the majority.

Movement: The doc said I'm supposed to start counting movements now. No problems there...she moves like crazy! ...and she has had the hiccups several times this week...mostly when I'm trying to go to sleep.   

Best moment this week: Well, I guess I would say my baby shower, which is for another post. However, Daniel and I spent the day together on Monday and I was in heaven. I love that man.  

What I miss: Hugging Daniel without a basketball between us.  

What I'm looking forward to: Date night on Friday!

Side Note:  I am feeling like I have a TON to do. A huge weight was lifted after our shower...I am feeling a little more prepared with things that we have...there are still a few things we need but nothing drastic. We have been so blessed. But yeah...I keep thinking about the little bit of time left and the possibility of her coming early...I am feeling desperate to get my lengthy to-do list finished.

Wonderful Wednesday

I thought I'd share something that stood out to me several weeks ago in studying God's Word. I went back and reviewed some yesterday and was reminded of it...

"Would you rather have the character of Jesus, or be comfortable?"

 That is not an exact quote, but something along those lines was in both of the commentaries I have studied lately on the book of James in discussing trials. Would you rather just be comfortable with no harm, disappointments, struggles, discouragements, etc.? OR, would you rather be working towards having that of the character of Christ Jesus?

What are you allowing the Lord to do in your life? ...a question I am asking myself.

-Megan

http://www.togetherforadoption.org/?page_id=11942

This Blog update is, surprisingly, from Daniel:

I am really excited! Last August, we had the opportunity to meet Dan Cruver. Dan is the President of an organization called "Together for Adoption." I had heard of the Together for Adoption Conference, but it always seemed to be far away, too far for us to reasonably go, considering our one income family. However, he told me that the next conference would be in our own Atlanta, GA! I was so excited that I would finally be able to go. However, much to our surprise in January our adoption would be brought to a screeching halt, and we would find out that we were expecting! Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset, just still a bit surprised! However, when the dates started adding up, I realized that our due date was extremely close to the Together For Adoption, National conference. So I chalked it up to, yet another no go. However, in talking this past weekend, Megan shared with me that she really thinks I should go.

For those of you who don't know this, I feel that God has placed on my hear a calling to Adoption Ministry. You might be wondering what that is, and that is because up until a few years ago, it didn't really exist. However, as we have shared on our blog before, our lives were transformed a few years ago, when we attended a similar conference called Adopting for Life in Louisville, KY. It was at this conference that I first learned about the Doctrine of Adoption, and for me, it changed everything! When I realized that I myself, was spiritually orphaned, and God almighty paid the ultimate price for our Adoption in to his Family, it changed everything! When I found out that I could call Jesus my, elder brother, because we were Co-heirs with Christ, it changed everything. And when I found out I had grown up in the church for 26 years (at the time), and never heard about this life changing truth, it changed everything!

I believe that God has called me, as an Ordained Pastor, to Preach and Teach in local congregations of Churches, the Doctrine of Adoption and Orphan Care in order to help the church see their responsibility to the fatherless!

Therefore, I'm excited to once again be able to attend such a conference as to encourage Megan and I, along our personal adoption journey and to also encourage me in my calling to help awake the church to their responsibility in caring for the orphans, both spiritually and physically, in a lost and dying world!

Please take time to look at the conference, Maybe God is calling you to attend in September as well!

Daniel Peavy

Wonderful Wednesday

I realized I haven't done a Wonderful Wednesday post in quite a few Wednesdays. Shame.

I finished reading the book Set-Apart Femininity by Leslie Ludy a couple of weeks ago. I have always been a huge, massive fan of Leslie Ludy and this book had actually been sitting on my shelf for a while. In the past I really struggled with reading anything other than fiction...as I've studied the Word these past several months I realized how much I've been missing out. Obviously, the Bible is what needs to be read and studied the most, but there is so much wisdom out there based on scriptural truths that I've missed out on!

So yeah, Set-Apart Femininity. Words can't even express. This book is amazing. Her audience is mostly youth/college age but I got SO much out of this book. I want every woman I know, young or old, to read it. I have to say, though, that it's quite mind/heart stretching. She calls us out on our lives and what exactly about them represent Jesus Christ. As God has stretched me through the study of His Word, I related to so much of this book. I am pretty sure 78% of it is underlined or marked. Maybe more. There is so much in this book I couldn't possibly begin to scratch the surface with telling you the main points.

"The spectacular sparkle of set-apart femininity is found through absolute abandonment to the Author of all true beauty. It's found by exchanging a life consumed with self for a life consumed with Jesus Christ, by trading the desire to be attractive to this world for the longing to be attractive to Him alone. Find a woman who cares about nothing but loving, serving, honoring, and glorifying Jesus Christ, and you will see who truly is "the fairest of them all." (Set-Apart Femininity)

Rather than try to re-write the entire book on this entry, I'll attempt to sum it up simply. (I was never good at summarizing in college...don't tell me I didn't warn you...this is a smidge long.)

This book is getting back to the Gospel.
Our "Christian culture" has made Christianity something that fits in where it's convenient. The Gospel says Christianity is giving Jesus Christ your life. Your decisions, talents, money, thoughts, actions. EVERYTHING.
Our Christian culture encourages us to please OURSELVES. The Bible says to please the LORD. Our Christian culture says that God wants us to be happy and will never give us something we can't handle. The Bible says God wants us to be Holy and He does give us things we can't handle...that's why we need Him...to handle it for us.
Our Christian culture teaches us, as women to strive to be beautiful because we are of course, beautiful on the inside. The Bible teaches us that we have ugly, sinful, disgusting hearts that only want to please ourselves...there is nothing beautiful about us. The only thing beautiful is Jesus Christ living in us.
Our Christian culture teaches us to live as the world lives (same stuff as unsaved people like movies, tv shows, music, books, activities, friends, etc., ...although we might avoid maybe the "really bad" stuff...whatever you think that may be) and put Jesus where He fits (church, maybe a little Bible reading and prayer, Bible study, mission trip...wherever it's convenient). The Bible teaches us to wrap our lives around Christ..."whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, anything excellent or praiseworthy." Does the movie, Magic Mike fit in there? How about the book, 50 Shades of Gray? Two popular things I've seen going around Facebook. Maybe that's throwing too much of my opinion, but there you go.  

The Christian culture is seeping with books, songs, etc. that are all about SELF. I realized at one point that even so far back to the moment I was saved, my relationship with Christ was swallowed up with ME. After all, I was the one who made the great decision to be saved. I was the one who made that change in my life. What a great thing I had done. I chose to live for Christ. Oh, it made me sick when I realized how everything about my relationship with Christ was all about ME, when in reality, it's all about HIM. His glory. His fame. His honor. His will. His direction. His plans. I knew all this of course, but I didn't realize how much of myself was wrapped up in my knowledge of Christianity. My mindset in reading God's Word, used to be, "what can God show me today," "what can I get out of His Word today," "God, what do you want to teach me today," "God, how can I become more like you today."

Do you see what's in common in all those requests? Me. Self. I.

I learned through the Reading of God's Word, as well as Set-Apart Femininity that it has nothing to do with Me. Self. I, but everything to do with, "God, may you be glorified today in the reading of your Word." Instead of my focus being all about me and how I can grow from God's Word, it became all about Him and getting to know Him. I will go ahead and tell you, this is impossible if you're just reading a few verses here and there. You can not truly know someone unless you're studying, spending time, seeking.  

How does your life look? Like one placing Jesus where He fits, or like one centered around Jesus.


I tell you what...these past couple of months I have been hit upside the head too many times to count. I am certainly not above what this blog entry is all about. These are all things God has taught me...and is most definitely still teaching me. I have a long way to go. Know that my heart in sharing all of this comes from the fact that it's too great not to share! God has done so much in me that I'm truly a different person than I was a few months ago. My heart is that everyone reading this will let God do what He wants to do in your life. It will be amazing. I promise.

-Megan