House

Will someone please buy our house?

Because I Love You

One of the most common comments we get from others as they hear about our adoption is, "I just don't understand how someone can give away/abandon their baby." This statement fills me with so many mixed emotions. Now, as you read on, please do not take offense with anything I say. Daniel and I were so ignorant when we started this process and have learned so very much. Our heart is to share what we have learned so that others do not have to remain as clueless as we have been!

First off, I don't want anyone to feel like we are rescuing a baby from an otherwise horrible existence. That is not our purpose for adopting. We are adopting because number 1, God has told us to do it, and number 2...in an unexplainable way, we know that our child is meant to enter our family this way rather than through birth. I don't mean, that over time, the child will eventually seem like he/she was born into our family. I mean that for us, this is our pregnancy, this is...our baby. I don't expect anyone (other than maybe other adoptive parents) to truly understand that, but oh how I wish they could. Yes, we will have the same love for our baby of another race, as we will any baby that is born to us. ...and now I am getting off subject so I better get back on track! We are not setting out trying to be heroes attempting to rescue a baby from a destitute life and a mother who doesn't care about her. On the contrary, the birth mother loves her (or him :) ) more than life itself, which is why she is choosing life for her child.  Plus, who is to say that we can offer a "better" life to a baby? We have problems of our own, just like any family. We, as christians, need to stop looking at adoption as simply "rescuing" a child, but as answering a call that God has put on so many of our lives.

Secondly, I don't believe that there is a single birthmother in the world who is "giving away" or "abandoning" her baby. In this day and age there are countless ways to end a pregnancy at just about any point of the pregnancy. For a woman to carry her child full-term, and then make an adoption plan declares her amazing love for that child. She simply feels that she can not offer a life to her child that she feels would be best. For that reason, she is seeking a family who can provide the life for her child that she simply can not. Because our adoption plan will be semi-open, the birthmother will still have the opportunity to see her child grow. She may even get to spend time with her child. We aren't really sure what our adoption plan will look like at this point. We are open to whatever God leads, as we are on this journey solely because of Him!

Thirdly, hearing that comment makes me feel that people are viewing Daniel and I as receiving someone else's unwanted baby. ...like we are getting the leftovers or the 2nd best. This just breaks my heart. It also relates to what I discussed up in the 2nd paragraph. This baby is not someone else's. He is not unwanted. He is not a leftover. He is not a 2nd best. He was knit together in his mother's womb (Ps. 139:13). He is God's workmanship (Eph 2:10). God knows him by name (Ex. 33:17). He was created for God's glory (Isa 43:6-7). He was created to make disciples of all nations (Matt. 28:19-20). He has a purpose, and part of that purpose is to be the child of Daniel and Megan...from the very beginning, that has been the plan. It's not Plan B.

Here is a poem that I came across today. It is written from the perspective of a birth mom and I couldn't wait to share it on here!

Because I Love You!
By Shelley I.

I searched my heart and soul and mind
Because I love you

I cried myself to sleep many nights
Because I love you

I looked long and hard and half way across the country for your parents
Because I love you

You now have a mommy and a daddy
Because I love you

You have cousins who can’t wait to hold you and play with you
Because I love you

You have loving aunts and uncles
Because I love you

You have grandparents who are so proud to call you grandson
Because I love you

There will never be a worry about how to feed you
Because I love you

You will never be told, “sorry honey there is no milk”
Because I love you

You won’t have to keep wearing the clothes you outgrew
Because I love you

You won’t have to move and attend many different schools
Because I love you

You have a stable home environment
Because I love you

You won’t have to wait for me to get out of bed
Because I love you

You will have a backyard to run and jump and play in
Because I love you

Your life won’t be a struggle
Because I love you

You are surrounded by people who love you
Because I love you

I let you go
Because I love you

I can live with this
Because I love you

Bedding

I found a pic of the bedding...

It's kind of small, but you get the idea! It's Kidsline Malawi if you wanted to search it and get a better idea. I had always planned to use a dresser in the nursery that my dad made, but in our current house, it won't fit very well in the room set aside for the nursery! So, I'm going to use a smaller dresser that we have...where I'm going to put what is currently in the dresser is anyone's guess, but where there's a will, there's a way! Anyway, I would like to paint the dresser creatively to go along with the bedding...if you have any ideas, let me know!

Megan

A Few of My Favorite Things...

I have decided to write a post about some things that I would love to have once we have our baby! (Well, actually somebody asked me to write about it and I'm not going to say no to that!) Since we started the adoption process Daniel has avoided driving by any establishment that might possibly have baby items with the fear that I will want to stop! He definitely puts time limits on me if I ever do venture inside a store!

I have always wanted to be very gender neutral with all our baby items. With me being a stay-at-home mom, we're not going to be rolling in the dough, so we better be as frugal as possible! I have spent many hours (not kidding) debating on what I would like the for the "theme" of the nursery. I finally settled on a dragonfly theme but was given a baby bedding set (for free!) by a friend. I wasn't about to turn that down! It's completely adorable, very colorful, with baby animals. I've decided to use the colors from the bedding to decorate. I will try to find a pic of the bedding to post. We already have several items that have been graciously given to us by friends: a crib, changing table, pack-n-play, and bassinet.

...and...we are going to be one of "those" families that use cloth diapers. I can't wait! Before you freak out, cloth diapers have come a LONG way from what they were 20 years ago when I remember changing my little sister's safety pins and plastic covers! There will be a more expensive up-front cost than what there would be with disposables, but in the long run we will save tons of money...especially because we can use them from baby to baby! The brand we have chosen to use is bumGenius. The style we will use is the 4.0 One Size style. These adjust to fit the baby as he/she grows and there are lots of colors to choose from!

Let's see...I think we're going to go with the Tommee Tippee bottles. We don't really have a big reason for using these other than they are comparable to some other brands that we've heard good things about. ...and I simply like the brand name...Tommee (close enough to Tommie!...my brother's name if you didn't know)!

We're also going to use the Tommee Tippee binkies...and NO I am not going to call them pacies (I don't even know how to spell it, but for my northern family and friends, it's pronounced passie). I grew up calling them binks or binkies...that is what they will remain around my house! haha!

Since my grandparents got one, I have always wanted a glider rocking chair and ottoman! I haven't decided for sure on the color...I am leaning towards a tan/beige color, but I'd also like something that hides stains a little bit better than light colors! This is the Storkcraft Hoop Glider which I like.

Hm...what else...Oh, I'd like to get the Graco Snugride Travel System. (This comes with the car seat and stroller.) I have debated on whether or not to go with the travel system and to me, it seems like the best option. This is the one that seems to be a good deal on Amazon right now.

Hm...well, there you have it for now! I will be thinking about what else I can put up, because this is really fun...my aunt (this entry was her idea) might have created a monster! I will leave you with this cute idea that I saw on a blog...I'd like to do this in the nursery...except instead of saying sweet dreams, I'd like to do the baby's initials.

Check back in soon! Thank you all for your prayers! We are still working on getting our final paperwork in.

Megan

It's what is on the inside that counts...

Recently a new Christian Movie was released nationwide in theaters, entitled the Grace Card. Without giving away too many details of the movie, there comes a part when one Character (an African-American man) gives another Character (a White man) an organ transplant. As the transplant is taking place, the African-American man's wife and children are gathered together praying for their father, and one of the daughters ask a poignant question. She said something to the extent of "Mommy, how do they know Daddy's kidney (I believer it was a kidney) will work in a white man's body." And the Mother replies something like "Well Honey, though we might have different colored skin, God created us all the same on the inside."

You know, not only is this true, but it makes a great point. So many times we get focused on external factors, that really do not matter, because after all (just as we teach our children) its what is on the inside that counts!

Recently, I was listening to a Sermon by Voddie Baucham on Adoption. He was sharing a letter that he had recently received. In fact, he mentioned that he receives letters like this one regularly. I will attempt to give you a cliff notes version of the letter that he read in his sermon.

Essentially the couple writing was asking what Voddie's opinion was for a White Family to adopt an African-American Child was. They wanted to make sure that in their adopting of an African-American that they would not hinder that child's appreciation and security in his African-American heritage because he/she would be raised by Caucasian parents.

Voddie's response is incredible and challenging. He responds by saying:
"Here's the question. The question is. How do I honor the biology. That's the question. How do I honor the genetics. How do I honor the culture. Let me respond.  You Can't! And You don't have to. A couple of things. Number 1, there is the cultural myth. The myth that these people are dealing with is that black people have a culture. Black people in Los Angeles are a lot different than black people in Chicago, black people in Chicago are a lot different than black people in South Carolina or Georgia, black people in Georgia aren't a whole lot like black people in Texas, other than their melanin count. It is pure myth that there is a such thing as a quote un quote African-American Culture. 2nd, the only thing in anyone's culture that ought to be lauded is that which is derived from and brings glory and honor to Jesus Christ. If there is a part of "Black" culture that is Christless, I do not embrace it because I happen to be Black. We embrace those things in our cultures that are derived from and bring glory to and honor to the Lord Jesus Christ. That's what we do. And here's what we get hung up on. We think that somehow these difficulties are worthy of forgoing the opportunity of giving someone the gospel! Listen to me. When Children are adopted into a home there is always an identity crisis. It is always going to be difficult. But what we have to give is the Gospel! That is what is most important, and so we overcome these difficulties as they arise. But this question comes from this idea that the most important thing for a black person is to be black! That doesn't come from here (The Bible). Give me the Gospel and let me be culturally awkward. 


It is for Christ and for his kingdom and for his Glory! Here's the great irony... These people could adopt a child who looks exactly like them. This is the question that never get's asked. Nobody ever says 'You know, we're a white family in Beverley Hills, we are adopting a poor white child from the Appalachian Mountains. Now in the Appalachian mountains there is a completely different culture than is here in Beverley Hills. I wonder if it would be appropriate for us, as a family in Beverly Hills, to bring a child out of the Appalachian Mountains culture, and raise them in the Beverley Hills culture. Nobody ever asks that question. And there might be more difference between a white Family in Beverley Hills and a White Family in the Appalachian mountains than a white family and a black family anywhere else. But nobody ever asks that question... WHY? Because we believe that biology is really what matters. And as long as they're raised by a family that LOOKS like them, they'll be OK. Newsflash! That child from the Appalachian Mountains raised by that family in Beverley Hills, is probably going to come to an identity crisis someday. We ask the question because we major on the wrong things! That's why.


Does that mean that we completely ignore it (their cultural heritage)? No, because its a part of that child who came to us. But we don't put it above the Gospel!""

What a great truth that Voddie points out here. Shame on us, as Christ followers, for us allowing the Culture to shape our beliefs about what is most important, instead of the Gospel defining it for us. Jesus has shared with us that the Gospel is to be proclaimed in "All Nations" (Matt 28:18-20). Therefore, if Christ has adopted children of every cultural background, and we have been united as Brothers and Sisters in Christ in every cultural background, and we have all been given a command to care for the orphans and the fatherless without indication of cultural or skin tone, yet we sit back, allowing the culture to define us what is best. Shame on us as Christ followers. Shame on us!

May we see that Adoption is about so much more than someone starting a family. Adoption is about so much more than people desperately wanting a child. Adoption is a visual representation of what Christ did for us. Adoption is a calling by God. Adoption is spiritual warfare. Adoption is the Gospel in action. May this teaching begin to penetrate the hearts of Christ followers, and may this truth begin to break down the walls of racism, hatred, stereotyping on all sides of humanity. After all, its what is on the inside that counts.